Spiritual Growth

The Dark Side of the Light and the Journey towards Integration

8th July 2016

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Does spiritual growth and practice have a dark side? Many of the greatest spiritual leaders are often described by those in their inner circles as really quite challenging to be around. Of course this is very rarely spoken about but nowadays we are hearing more and more of the truth coming out of the shadows. So what did Carl Jung mean when he said ‘The brighter the light the darker the shadow?’

Spiritual emergence happens gradually for most and explosively for some. If it happens gradually a person may feel at peace in nature, expressing themselves creatively or simply doing some kind of gentle meditation. If it happens explosively it might include visions, periods of higher consciousness, clairvoyant experiences and profound changes in awareness where life is never the same again.

Spiritual practice like anything can become addictive because it may give someone an experience of power, love, a sense of knowing or simply the deepest peace they’ve ever experienced in their life and who wouldn’t want more of that? In years gone by these practices were taught and held by experienced teachers and communities but now we’ve seen an explosion of these teachings in the West there is an ever-increasing shadow being created.

We are living in very turbulent times and let’s face it there’s a lot of pain out there. Many people are searching for a way out of their pain and spiritual practices particularly the transcendent forms of meditation provide just that. It’s possible to transcend through focusing on detaching from your body and therefore disconnecting from the place where the pain resides in the form of feelings or physical pain. Can that ever be a good thing?

Many people nowadays suffered a lot of dysfunction in childhood and carry some quite serious wounding. If you try to escape feeling your pain then over time what happens is you force that pain into shadow or underground causing an internal separation. The important truth here is that it doesn’t go away no matter how many hours you meditate – it is simply split off or it gets pushed down into the body. In various spiritual communities I have met people who carry so much light they light up the room when they walk in and then erupt with explosive anger behind closed doors. So there is definitely for the most dedicated of meditators aspects of themselves that are split off, denied or repressed very deeply. However that shadow does not go away – in fact it gets bigger and stronger until it is faced, processed, expressed and integrated.

The irony about our shadow is that we need to embrace and accept it in order to integrate it and many spiritual practitioners are so busy rejecting and denying their humanity that they are actually increasing an internal split in their psyche and doing more long-term harm to themselves. I remember sitting with a spiritual teacher a few days before she passed away. She was really quite angry with her son, the hospital staff and people who were trying to care for her. Her anger was palpable and she had done years of meditation and teaching meditation. When I spoke to her she was angry that she wasn’t able to escape her anger in those final days. She taught me a lot about shadow and the way we judge certain emotions as ‘good or bad’.

It is a beautiful gift to experience the core of one’s being and the beauty of the heart and this is definitely a worthy pursuit. However it may be that a person first needs to visit their wounding in order to feel into the dark places inside so that the light can get in. I’ve seen cases of people who were sexually abused in childhood and then ended up in a spiritual community pretending it never happened where the repression became serious mental illness and resulted in psychotic episodes. The bottom line is – it’s not safe for everyone to meditate because it involves going inside and that in itself can be the trigger for all sorts of things to suddenly come to the surface.

Therapy provides a safe place to work through deeply repressed emotions and it may be that once that work has been done then it naturally follows that a person may feel ready to explore their spirituality. We all have aspects of ourselves ‘in shadow’ and we all have blind-spots – however it is when the denial and rejection of these parts of ourselves becomes so powerful that the consequence can be quite serious. Delusion is very common in spiritual communities and there are many people who project an aura of “I’m so spiritual or I’ve arrived” and in actual fact they haven’t even started on the road to humility and facing themselves. Some never make that journey at all.

We all definitely need more light in our lives however we also need the right guidance and advice according to our own personal history. There is nothing to fear in facing our darker emotions either as long as we learn to allow them and witness them and care for them appropriately they will naturally come to a place of rest. Looking at our shadow can be done through the therapeutic relationship or within group therapy. If we have the courage to be seen in our darkness as well as our light then this naturally reduces the shame we may carry about the parts we don’t like.

We are ‘Human Beings’ and if we only concentrate on the spirit then we are ignoring the work that needs to be done on other levels in order to truly thrive and live meaningful lives. The Buddhists movements are very progressive in this because they encourage therapeutic intervention and they are generally all about being grounded and aware. However other forms of spiritual practice discourage therapy because they perceive that it will take you further into your negative patterns and therefore make them deeper. Neuroscience has confirmed this and I also agree that in therapeutic circles sometimes people get stuck wallowing in their ‘stuff’ for too long. So that is really where the skill of a great therapist lies – in consulting and sensing where a person needs to do the work and for how long.

I feel that if spiritual organisations and therapists were to work more closely together they could offer truly remarkable solutions for people at this time in the world. For a lotus flower to open to the light it has it’s roots deeply held in the mud. For me this symbol acknowledges us as whole human beings and represents our ascent and descent. There is equal value in both journeys and if more people were to do the work of integration we might start to experience what we are truly capable of and spiritual communities would become healthier less toxic environments.

At Lotus I work with people who are ready to take either or both journeys.

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